the threat...

I woke up late today, again. It appears to become a normal routine for me, waking up late. I simply sleep through my alarm for some odd reason. It blows my mind as to how some days I will and some days I dont, yet if someone across the house makes the floor creak, Im wide awake.

Well anyway, I dressed in a hurry and ran out the door to class. As my day went along I took part A of my test for Sight Singing and Ear Training (part b. is wed.) and I waited for a friend to get out of class. I nearly waited another forty minutes before she was released. Holy Poop! Take forever why don't you? However, I went along with my day, with this awkward tension and ended up at home attempting to mow our lawn with my roommate Eric. We have a very large yard b.t.w.

What had happened was that someone had made a "threat" that the mayor was coming to visit our house because our yard was in violation of city codes. We had mowed the front part of our yard recently (which was the easier half) but we never have gotten to the rest. The grass was a bit larger than stomache high and it was a pain in the butt to mow with a push-mower and weed-eater. The church we work for has a riding mower that we're allowed to use but for some reason wouldn't start. And yes, it did have gas in it.

After two hours of attempting to mow/weed-eat we hadn't but barely got a small portion of the yard done. After prayer and must frustration Eric and I attempted to start the mower and after jumping the battery, it started up. The mowing job became much easier until Eric ran over a pipe sticking out of the ground in which I had to lift the mower vertical so that he could pound our where it had bent the undercarriage. During that lifting I grabbed a very hot muffler. It burned pretty good. But with much attempt around 7:45 we had a finished yard. We had started around 3:30 that afternoon. Talk about a lot of hard work.

I later went to my mom's house for dinner where I realized this. It took someone threating to have the mayor come back to check our yard's length in order for us to actually do what was the right thing. We were frustrated becasue we had to actually do it and change our plans in order to do this task. However, when in fact this is what was needed to have been done much earlier becuase it was our responsibility. In our own faith we do this so many times. We are supposed to keep up with our responsibility against sin or just regular life and when we ignore that sometimes God will place a threat there. Look at Israel. How many times did God talk about turning them over to their sin (which did happen eventually) and destroy them? Numerous but they, for the most part, returned to Him. That is what I noticed.

Why did it take a threat in order for us to accomplish something that is/was our responsibility? It in fact was part of our agreement with the house. Take care of the kids, our utilites, & our yard, but we were welcome to use their mower if needed. We seemed to do two of those well, but completely forgot and forsake our other responsibility. Those were the three tasks we were given to us. Simple no? Yet, we allowed other things to take the place of our duties and lose our priorities.

Even though it looks amazing to have the yard cut and done and have all this open feild, it also looks like poop. The dead grass in piles around the yard and it just really could have been done better. As exciting as it is to get the job done, it is a constant reminder of how much better we could have done.

Thank you Lord for giving me the understanding to see your message in the midst of my frustration and stubborness. I pray that you allow for us to not lose sight of our spiritual goal and expectations that you bestow upon me. Please give us all the desire and passion for your will that you desire us to have. Thank you for not giving up on us when we needed a threat but that you gave us mercy and your Son in order to forgive us of our so many wrongs.

With all I am,
Gary Michael "Tex" Rule

"Let me tell you a mystery: We wont all rest, but we will all be changed." 1 Cor15:51

"This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewarts of the mysteries of God." 1 Cor4:1

the dilemma...

Recently it appears as though I have hit a brick wall.  Not completely sure as to why but it is affecting my attitude.  I have never understood many people when they describe certain issues until recently.  As my recent discovery has come into my view its simply said in two words: 

I'm exhausted.  

I've never been so tired in my life.  More tired than at a summer camp working tons of hours where I'd stay up as late as I could just so i could hear someone' voice, that in turn has  turned in a different direction.  I've never understood stress, at least not in this manner.  The anxiety of life that a dear friend used to talk about.  

Time needs to somehow stop.  Just stop in the midst of everything and give back to what it takes.  I seem to be running around on E all the time.  Between working nightshifts, attempting to redo school, help run a youth group, clean a house, homework, my family is moving, mow a yard, actually have a conversation with roommates, or even spend five minutes with God.  

Notice the sad part in the sentence above?  It was all about me...

all about me...

sheesh... that hits home.  That cut deep.

Its not about God nor is it about how I can glorify Him.  Though I truly have nothing to offer, God chooses me to be apart of communion with Him and I do nothing but put it off.  I say, "Hey,  I'm busy.  I'll do it later.  Maybe tomorrow or I can only do it during this x amount of time that is open in my schedule rather than this is ALWAYS first and placing everything else in the open slots from after spending time with the Lord Almighty.

Talk about a heart clincher.  The most stupid thing I used to say about men in the Old Testament is that they are men who have seen God have this community or even a covenant with God and they still forget Him or set Him aside as if He is not there or can be placed inside a box.  Yet, its exactly what I do everyday.  I experienced the Living God this summer and He spoke to my heart and He has broken my heart and He has even changed my heart.  I turn on him.  I say, "Later!  I'll get to it later! I'm so busy Lord!"  not "I've cleared my schedule for you Lord. What will you have with your servant? Your servant is here and listening."

Yet i need to be humbled and that is exactly what He's done.  "Woe to me for I am ruined."  Gosh...I am a worthless being no different than the disobedient Israel.

 

Lord, I am so sorry for my sin of busyness.  I am so sorry that I attempt to put you in this box of my control.  Where is my faith?  Why don't I trust You that You will provide everything?  Make me fully rely on You.  Fix my little faith, Lord.  Build my faith in order to do your will in moving the mountains in our hearts.  Help build me into the man that will serve you no matter the cost.  Thank you for being so good.  Thank you Father for breaking my heart tonight. My joy is only made complete in You.  You have filled me with peace because you love us to break us in order to fix us.  Thank you for being beyond us yet being with us, worthless people whom you created and love so dearly and unconditionally.  

With all I am,

Gary Michael "Tex" Rule

"Let me tell you a mystery:  We wont all rest but we will all be changed." 1 corinthians 15:51

"and after you have suffered awhile, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 peter 5:10

the commission...

Yesterday was an interesting day.  With the side-effects of working a night shift and a long week of school, i slept in most of the day which caused me to fail my one goal for the day: mow the yard.  Oh well, i woke up in time to go to work and while i was scurrying around I received a phone call from Brenda with Go Now Missions.  "We've decided to accept you as a semester missionary, however the board decided there was a place better suited to you then you had selected."*  HOLY POOP!! I made it! 

"Where am i going?" I asked

"Houston."

Holy Poop!  The fourth largest city in our nation!  The big H-Town.  WOW!  I called people to let them hear the news and then started organizing my stuff on my computer on my external hard drives.  Last night wasn't a hard night at work, in fact it was rather slow.  VERY slow.  But i stayed awake which was grand.  

I knew God gave me a passion to go.  I wasn't sure what it meant and felt called into the field but I honestly am so surprised/excited.  The job is literally what I'm doing here in Bishop except on a larger scale.  God prepared me for this trip long before I knew I'd be going.

I'm going to be a missionary.  WHOA!  Talk about excited.  There is so much i need to get ready for between raising funds and getting all my stuff packed and sorted out.  We serve an amazing God, don't we? Pretty much crazy adventure time.  Well I decided it was time to kick this pig.

With all I am,

Gary Michael "Tex" Rule

"Let me tell you a mystery. We won't all rest but we will all be changed."  1 Corinthians 15:51

*paraphrased the conversation*

Heres the job description for the project I'll be working on:

Serving Hands

Poverty is a reality for many people...in our own backyard. Help us reach people in poverty and with deep spiritual needs. Touch people as Jesus did. The inner-city Houston Mission Centers will provide opportunities for you to lead in kid's clubs, preteen, and teen clubs, English as a second language classes, food and clothing distribution, senior adult ministry, as well as minister alongside and supervise local and national student volunteer groups. The Centers serve primarily Hispanic people. Come make a difference as you personally address the poverty issue in Texas.

Location:	Houston, TX
Special Requirements:	Must be Baptist.
Dates:	Jan. 8 - May 15, 2009
Team:	1 Student